Grief & The Hero’s Journey
A Journey Through Darkness to Wholeness
Grief, like the Hero’s Journey, is not a neat, linear path from suffering to peace. It’s a spiral, a descent, a dive deep into the unknown. And like the Hero in any transformative story, grief calls us to face the darkness—the shadowy corners of our psyche where our fears, wounds, and forgotten parts reside.
But in this darkness lies the transformative potential to emerge more fully alive, connected to our true selves, and more powerful than ever. This post is for those of you who are ready to walk the path of the Hero’s Journey within your grief, embracing the shadow as a source of healing and strength.
The Call to the Shadow
The Hero’s Journey begins with the Call to Adventure—a summons to leave the comfort of the known world and enter into the unknown. For many of us, grief is that call. It arrives unexpectedly, throwing us into an emotional abyss, demanding that we leave behind old identities, old ways of being, and confront what we least want to face.
Grief can come from losing someone we love, a job, a pet, a relationship, a friend - basically any kind of big life shattering change. Life as we know it comes to an end. It is during this earth spinning space, we are forced to step onto a new path we never anticipated. Our emotional landscape is torn apart and we’re forced to reckon with the depths of our pain. This initial descent into the darkness is not easy, but it’s the Hero’s first step toward transformation.
Meeting the Shadow: Confronting the Repressed
In the Hero’s Journey, the Descent represents a confrontation with our shadow—the parts of ourselves that are uncomfortable or painful to face. The grief process often unearths these hidden emotions, such as guilt, anger, resentment, and regret. These feelings, though painful, are the essence of the shadow, the parts of us we’ve kept buried for fear of being overwhelmed or vulnerable.
Grief shines a light on these parts of ourselves, pushing us to confront what we've avoided for so long. The beauty of the shadow is that it doesn’t ask us to suppress or deny our emotions—it’s asking us to feel them fully. It challenges us to move into our pain, not bypass it. In doing so, we begin the reclaiming of our deepest, most authentic selves.
The Dark Night of the Soul: Transformation in the Fire
This part of the Hero’s Journey is often referred to as the Dark Night of the Soul—the moment when the hero is stripped of everything they thought they knew, everything they thought they were. It’s the emotional and spiritual rock bottom. In grief, this may look like a moment where we feel lost, unrecognisable, or consumed by despair. But it’s in these moments that transformation truly begins.
In the shadow of grief, we are called to surrender. The ego's grip loosens and we face our greatest fears. This is where healing begins—not by pushing the grief away, but by allowing ourselves to be enveloped by it, trusting that something greater is unfolding.
Through the intensity of this experience, the hero discovers that he or she is stronger than they ever imagined. The very darkness that threatened to swallow them becomes the crucible in which their true strength is forged.
The Gifts of the Shadow: Reclaiming Power and Wisdom
After the descent comes the awakening—the moment when the hero discovers new, hidden strengths. In grief, this awakening is often tied to the discovery of our own power and resilience. Grief does not just break us; it has the ability to remake us.
Through embracing the shadow, we start to uncover the gifts that lay hidden within us: compassion, wisdom, empathy, and a deeper connection to our authentic self. By acknowledging the darkness and integrating it into our journey, we emerge with a fuller sense of who we truly are.
Uncovering Unfelt Emotions
Grief may force us to confront emotions we have been repressing for years—anger, regret, fear. The shadow is full of these hidden emotions, and when we bring them into the light, we begin to free ourselves from the emotional chains that have kept us stuck.Healing Past Wounds
Grief often mirrors past wounds—unresolved traumas or unfinished stories. By examining how our grief taps into these deeper, older wounds, we can begin to heal them. The Hero’s Journey is about rewriting our stories, and grief invites us to rewrite the narrative of pain into one of resilience.Reclaiming Our Power
The shadow doesn’t take away our power; it calls us to reclaim it. When we embrace the parts of ourselves that are broken or hidden, we discover new strength. Grief is the mirror that shows us who we are beneath the surface, and in this discovery, we become whole.Finding Meaning in the Darkness
Grief does not just bring sorrow—it opens us to a deeper understanding of our own hearts. As we navigate the shadow of grief, we find that the darkness reveals our truest selves. The Hero’s Journey is not about avoiding the dark; it’s about transforming the darkness into light.
The Return: Emerging from the Shadow
In the final stages of the Hero’s Journey, the hero returns from their descent. They are no longer the person they were at the beginning of the journey—they are changed forever. Grief, brings us through the darkness, but it does not leave us there. It calls us to return to the world with newfound wisdom, strength, and purpose.
The magic of grief is that it doesn’t end in destruction; it leads to a deeper connection with our true self. The shadow has shown us who we are, and through the process of facing it, working with our shadows, we find the way back to the light. So we can emerge transformed, empowered, and more deeply connected to the truth of who we are. If you’re ready to dig deeper into your grief, to find the treasures within it, try journalling with our shadow work questions at the end of this post.
Conclusion: Dance as Medicine for the Soul
My journey through grief was not something I could think my way through. It was something I had to move through—literally. When words failed, when sitting in stillness only deepened the ache, I turned to medicine dance. In the sacred space of my own home, I let music guide me. I let my body become the prayer, the grief, the transformation. Dance became my medicine, my ritual, my bridge back to the most authentic, strongest version of myself I have ever been. Music brought me back to life.
Through movement, I found a way to alchemise my sorrow into strength, turn my fear into freedom, shift my loss into deep deep love and honouring. Dance didn’t erase my grief—it wove it into a deeper tapestry of my wholeness. It showed me the way out of the darkness was not by escaping it, but by becoming it—moving with it, breathing through it, and letting it reshape me into someone new.
If you’re walking your own path of loss, change, or spiritual awakening, know that you’re not alone - although I know only too well it feels that way. There is a wild, sacred soul song waiting within you—and when you are ready to rise, ready to let your soul move, to express how it is feeling you will unlock griefs treasures. If now, is your time to start to move all that heavy energy, to work with it, to release it, to begin to feel joy and expansion if even just for a couple of hours - then come and experience the healing power of a medicine music dance.
Let your body lead you through the grief onto a path towards your new life in the comfort and privacy of your own home. And did we mention it’s free because we’ve been where you are. So this is our gift to you. The very gift that helped us transform grief and stress into power and beauty.
Journal Prompts for Embracing the Shadow in Grief
What part of me has been calling to be seen and heard during my grief?
Reflect on the emotions or aspects of yourself that grief has brought to the surface. What has been begging for attention?How has grief mirrored past wounds in my life?
Consider the ways grief connects to unresolved pain or trauma. What patterns are emerging? How can you begin to heal these older wounds?In what ways has grief shown me my strength?
Reflect on how grief has revealed your resilience and power. What hidden strengths have you uncovered through the process?What darkness within me needs to be embraced in order to heal?
Write about the parts of yourself that you’ve avoided or feared. How can you embrace these parts in order to move through grief and emerge transformed?How can I begin to step into my power after this experience of grief?
Think about how you can reclaim your power as you move through grief. What new wisdom or strength will you carry with you as you return from this journey?